Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 15

“We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves” Unknown

When I work with clients it’s not unusual for them to share with me their desire for their lives to be different whilst they remain the same. What they fear - what we all fear - is coming face-to-face with ourselves, discovering who we really are, what we really want and therefore the true extent of our own unhappiness or dissatisfaction. We spend so much of our formative years being the person others want us to be that it’s both difficult and scary to take the bold step of discovery but for those brave enough to do so they are rewarded with happiness, liberation and paradoxically self-acceptance.

Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 14

"Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open” Alexander Graham Bell, Inventor, 1847-1922.

I was coaching a client a few days ago. It was clear from the moment he began to talk that there was a lot going in his life and that he was beginning to feel overwhelmed and disheartened by his current work circumstances. He hopped from thought to thought and outpoured his frustrations and worries. I wasn’t too sure where the conversation was going or indeed where he wanted it to go and I too began to feel a little overwhelmed. I then remembered something another coach shared with me many years ago: “the client does the work”. With these words resonating in my ears I asked my client “what is it that you want?”. A look of shock took hold of my client’s face followed by a deafening silence. This question stopped him completely dead in his tracks. He went to speak then stopped and repeated this several more times before a huge smile swept across his face almost as quickly as the shocked first appeared. It was as if if he had just found something precious. In fact he had. He had just discovered what it was he wanted and started to share that with me. From this point onwards the client acted like a liberated man with resources aplenty and bursting with enthusiasm.  He was no longer staring at the closing door.

Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 13

“Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability” R. L. Smith

After almost 3 years I have once again become a ‘runner’ and knowing just how difficult my return would be I decided to do what I have never done before - I bought a book on the subject. The book prescribes three things (i) using a heart rate monitor, (ii) running at certain thresholds and (iii) lots of discipline.  Discipline to run at what embarrassingly feels like a snail’s pace on some days and yet on others such a hard and fast pace that I wish I’d never taken up running in the first place!

And 3 weeks on?  The results are incredible!  My running has improved significantly, I can’t wait to get out and I feel so incredibly focussed. In short the talent history tells me I have is manifesting into real ability - the stuff you can measure on a stopwatch and all down to that one simple word: discipline.  The discipline to honour my commitments, discipline to overcome embarrassment and not be judged and discipline to endure moments of pain and hardship.

So whether you’re a runner, manager or leader release your ability through the gift of discipline and watch your success grow.

Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 12

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams” John Barrymore, Actor, 1882-1942.

I have been a bit quiet on the QOTW front as I have been enjoying some work and personal travel. On the last leg of my most recent trip I had the pleasure of sitting next to a fascinating elderly lady.  We got talking and she told me of her 3-week cruise around the Caribbean and how she had several such adventures by herself every year.  She told me of the many charity organisations she supported and how she liked to help ‘old people’.  She told me of her wonderful garden and the ambitious plans she has for it's re-design.

It was truly a delight to talk to someone so vibrant and so interesting that our conversation was only punctuated by her many, many requests for me to repeat myself once, twice, sometimes three times. You see whilst her mind was as sharp, filled with hope, ambitions and dreams her hearing was failing somewhat…she was after all 94!

Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 9

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.”  Japanese Proverb


On Wednesday morning I found myself yet again in the Doctor’s waiting room.  You see when it comes to the kids getting needles or visiting the Dentist my wife becomes mysteriously unavailable so it falls to me to take my young children.  Actually over the years I’ve begun to enjoy this duty because whether my it’s 3 year old or my nineteen year old I’m rather proud how they’ve conquered that which they initially feared.  So much of what we fear is cognitive.  Our thoughts act as amplifiers resulting in undue concern about that which is about to happen and the fear of fear itself.  This is so debilitating not only for young children but leaders and managers alike where in place of needles and Dentists lurks delegation, failure and imperfection.  Fear is actually quite easy to overcome once you realise it’s growth is directly proportional to the amount of thinking time you ‘invest’ in it and inversely proportional to the amount of action you take to eliminate it.


So how about it…stop thinking, start doing and watch your fears melt away.

Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 8

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million." Walt Streightiff.


"Amélie" I called. "Nothing Daddy" came the response. I was wondering where my 3-year-old daughter was in the house but her reply made me curious so I went to investigate. You see when Amélie says “nothing” it usually means leave me alone because I’m doing something which is so wondrous you simply would not understand. This was too irresistible to ignore.


I eventually found her sitting on the floor in our bedroom playing with 3 rubber wedge-shaped doorstops she had collected from around the house but these were no longer doorstops. No, these were ‘people’ talking to each other in their own special language and having what looked to be a fantastic time of it! This got me thinking about the special gift all children have for seeing something magical in everything & everyone and how wondrous a gift that would be for every manager. You see as adults, in fact as developed human beings, our thinking still tends towards that very basic survival response of looking out for danger and harm. Except today, for most of us at least, that harm no longer exists so the automatic response focuses on the 'dangers' that lurk in the less-than-perfect performance of our team; politicians; partners [delete as appropriate]. This programming is so strong in all of us that seeing the good in people or situations too easily invokes the response "why should I" but no manager will ever excel by seeing the bad in his/her people ahead of the good; by spotting all the things that should have been done in favour of the things that things that were actually done; by not being discerning enough every working day to see the qualities in each and every person.


So, if you really want to be a great manager take a tip from a 3-year-old. You might just be surprised what a difference it makes!

Quote of the Week [QOTW]: 2011 Week 7

"Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you."  Anonymous.


The months of planning in readiness for our house-move came to a crashing halt last week as the sale of our home fell through and along with it our dreams.  After a huge investment of time, money and emotion the upset was profound and surprisingly long lasting.  It just didn’t add up?  Myself, my wife and family are all healthy.  We all love and support each other and we have what many would regard a blessed life.  And yet, we both felt miserable and a huge sense of loss.


We had clearly made a big mistake.  But not a mistake in the way we negotiated; not a mistake in allowing the process to continue for so long; not even a mistake in the repeated concessions we made which eventually weakened our position.  No, we made a mistake in pinning our hopes of happiness to an object, to an event, to a place.  We made our happiness conditional and painfully learned that all paths to conditional happiness can only ever lead to sadness and disappointment.  We temporarily abandoned all the wonderful things we have and as we lifted our gaze to a future place we were unable to see that which lay right next to us.


I love my house; I love my family; I love my life and I am unconditionally happy because I made a decision to be so right now, today, tomorrow and the days after that.